Monday, April 6, 2015

Momma Kat vs. Bear Cat: Take 1

Momma Kat version:

(cat rubs across momma's legs)
{thinking: Oh, how sweet, my loving cat is rubbing up against me because he loves me. I love you, love bug! He must want love!} 
(reaching down to pet cat)
(cat grabs onto arm and starts gnawing)
ARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGG! 
{thinking: Damn cat. Thank goodness I have a sweatshirt on.}
(cat continues gnawing on arm, moving his jaw around and experimenting with different angles, trying to cause the most pain)
What did I do to you this time?
{thinking: Well, at least we're back to "normal." I guess he's feeling better.}
(cat goes to couch, curls up and falls asleep - snoring)

Bear Cat version:

{thinking: I'm bored. Why isn't momma petting me or playing with me? Looks like I'll have to handle this with my own paws.}
(cat rubs across momma's legs)
GNNNOMMMMMMMMM . . . . GNOMMMMMMM . . . GNAW . . . ENOMMMMMM . . . 
{thinking: She looked at me funny. She knows she did. And then she touched me! She actually touched me! She totally started it! I'm just protecting myself! Why isn't she howling in pain?!?!?}
GNNNOMMMMMMMMM . . . . GNOMMMMMMM . . . GNAW . . . ENOMMMMMM . . . 
{thinking: She's still not howling in pain! I've tried every side and every angle . . .}
GNNNOMMMMMMMMM . . . . GNOMMMMMMM . . . GNAW . . . ENOMMMMMM . . . 
{thinking: . . . My jaw is getting tired! Damn her. We'll have to continue this later.}
(cat goes to couch, curls up and falls asleep)




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